“I don’t know,” I said. “But she is going to fight. We’ll help her.”
Tobin lowered his head.
“I can’t do anything.”
“You can stay beside her.”
He took those words more seriously than I expected.
During the following months, Tobin visited the hospital whenever he could. He brought Linnea sour candy, helped with schoolwork, and watched the terrible television shows she loved. On days when she was too tired to talk, he simply sat beside her.
Treatment changed Linnea quickly.
Her face became pale. Her arms grew thin. Some days, she could not keep food down. Other days, she barely opened her eyes.
Still, she tried to make everyone else comfortable.
“I look like a ghost,” she joked once.
Tobin laughed for her, then turned toward the window so she would not see his tears.
The hardest change came when her hair began falling out.
At first, it was a few strands on her pillow. Then Eileen found clumps in the shower and hair tangled around the brush.
She bought soft hats and colorful scarves. Linnea thanked her, but each time she touched her head, her eyes filled with shame.
One afternoon, Tobin came home unusually quiet and went straight upstairs.
An hour later, I was folding laundry in the living room when I heard him behind me.
I looked up and dropped the shirt in my hands.
His dark curls were gone.
His head had been shaved completely smooth.
“Tobin,” I whispered. “What did you do?”
He rubbed one palm over his bare scalp.
“Linnea cried yesterday.”
I waited.
“She thought I had gone to the vending machine, but I came back early. She was in the bathroom holding a handful of hair. She kept saying she didn’t want me to see her like that.”
His voice became rough.
“I told her I didn’t care, but she didn’t believe me.”
“So you shaved your head?”
“I wanted her to know I meant it. She keeps saying she doesn’t recognize herself anymore. Maybe if I look different too, she won’t feel like she’s the only one losing something.”
I reached up and touched the smooth skin where his hair had been.
“It’ll grow back, Mom,” he said quietly.
I pulled him into my arms.
“She is lucky to have you.”
